It absolutely kills me sat at home, whilst the team which I, only since yesterday, no longer belong to, have a company meeting altogether. They probably won’t give me a second thought, won’t care that I’m no longer with them, I know some will be glad.
I thought I’d finally found a family for myself, I loved the feeling of belonging. The personalities mostly fit my own, the banter and laughter filled me with confidence and pride. But I guess it was another fantasy, another misinterpretation, another fake scenario I made up.
The reality is I could have been better, but I don’t think I deserved this, this could have been avoided if only the lines of communication stayed open. But they didn’t want that, they wanted a quick fix to a deeper problem. One replaced cog is not going to restart the motor that easily.
This is it, never again will I let myself get comfortable, no longer will I trust my surroundings and those I work with. Everyone is out for themselves, and if someone doesn’t like you, you have to be on your best behaviour always. I will not let myself be burned like this again, and will do everything I can to not be myself, only a perfect false version.
They don’t want personality, just nameless and faceless soldiers. I guess I needed to learn this someday.
I wish it wasn’t today though.
WE365 